at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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