I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
