I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
