K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize