You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
