I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
