Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
