I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
