I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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