ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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