so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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