similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
