How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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