I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
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I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We have started to decorate penises.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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