At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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