That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize