No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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