I want to walk on stilts...naked
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
