Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize