question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
