she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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