When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize