I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
