She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
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you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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