quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
