i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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