New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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