It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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