i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
