What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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