and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
