You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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