used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
