1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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