Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize