tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
