Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize