K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
