i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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