beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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