You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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