My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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