Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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