i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
