Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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