marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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