the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
