Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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