paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
