Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
