dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
