Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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