Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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