His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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