Sponge bath it is.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
