The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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