I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
