awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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