First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
