I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
