You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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