dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
